How Much Should You Really Have Figured Out at 21?

I’m 21, and by all accounts, I should be figuring it out by now. At least the pressure is real. Everyone around me seems to have their life on some sort of straight path, like they’ve got their dream job locked down, a clear five-year plan, and a healthy daily routine that includes both meditation and consuming kale.

And then there's me, who gets overwhelmed by the thought of “adulting,” especially when I haven’t even fully mastered the art of doing laundry without turning everything a weird shade of light blue that must come from my bath towels.

You know what I’m talking about—the constant comparison game. It feels like everyone on Instagram is suddenly a CEO or a published author by the time they turn 23, while you’re still out here trying to figure out how to write a paper that doesn’t make you want to cry into your overpriced coffee (the one you didn’t really want, but bought because it made you feel productive, remember?).

So, how much should you really have figured out at 21? Should I be sending out my resumes to Fortune 500 companies, or is it okay if my “career path” currently consists of figuring out how to make it through the next day without embarrassing myself in front of my professors? (Spoiler: I accidentally sent an email to the wrong person recently...oops)

Here’s the thing. We’re told that by 21, we’re supposed to be prepared to take on the world with the wisdom of a 40-year-old and the energy and curiosity of a toddler. But in reality? Most of us are still figuring it out, and that’s perfectly fine. It’s okay if you’re not sure what you want to do with your life—most people don’t have it all figured out at 21, even if it seems like they do. It’s about embracing the uncertainty and giving yourself room to grow without constantly feeling like you’re falling behind.

In Professor Kayye’s class the other day, he asked us a question that really got me thinking: "Who are you?" At first, it felt like one of those deep, philosophical questions that professors love to throw at us, making us feel like we need an answer that sounds insightful and profound. But then he took it a step further. He asked us why we you felt that way, and why we value what we value. And that’s when it hit me—most of us truly have no idea.

He explained that the values and passions we think we have often come from others—parents, friends, professors. They’re handed down to us like hand-me-down clothes we never really picked out ourselves. If we really took the time to ask “why,” to dig deeper, we might start to question whether those things we think we care about are actually ours.

And honestly, that kind of hit me. I realized that a lot of the pressure I feel to “have it all figured out” is tied to external expectations—things I think I should value because society says that’s what 21-year-olds are supposed to do. But maybe I need to take a step back and really figure out what I value, without all the noise.

Of course, as I sit here writing this blog post about how to embrace uncertainty and not feel pressured to have life all figured out, I’m also hyper-aware of the fact that I’m still desperately trying to follow this advice myself. In fact, as I type this, I'm currently fighting the urge to Google “What resume keywords should I add for a Marketing position?” (Spoiler: I know better, but I’m still doing it.) It's a constant battle between embracing uncertainty and googling the answers to life’s biggest (literally the smallest) questions.

There’s this weird pressure that comes with having it all together at a young age. It’s like we’re supposed to have a plan, a vision, and a Pinterest board dedicated to our 10-year goals. And, sure, maybe some people do have it all figured out. But a lot of us are just trying to make sense of our passions, our values, and what really matters, all while trying to survive the chaos of figuring out adulthood. It’s not as glamorous as it seems.

But here’s the truth: you don’t have to have your whole life planned out at 21. Some of the most successful people in the world didn’t start getting things “together” until much later. They stumbled, they failed, they questioned themselves—and that’s all part of the process. The pressure to have it all figured out is real, but it’s also a bit of a lie. Life isn’t a race, and there’s no finish line you need to cross by a certain age.

Instead of obsessing over what you should have figured out, focus on the process of figuring it out. Learn from the things that don’t work. Embrace the messiness. Keep trying new things, even if they don’t make sense at the time. And most importantly, remember that it’s okay to not know all the answers yet. Embrace the uncertainty. Take your time. It's honestly kind of refreshing once you get used to it.

Sweatshirts I saw at a shop in Savannah, GA.

Because at 21, you’re supposed to be growing, experimenting, and figuring things out—sometimes by trial and error. And who knows? Maybe in a few years, you’ll look back and laugh at how much pressure you put on yourself, as you sit in your dream job or sipping your overpriced coffee, feeling exactly the same. But with a lot more confidence about what you want, and who you are.